Not doing so well today. I slept til noon, ate, then slept til about five. I've been constipated and cranky and l'm a little sore at Michael for not helping me out around the house. It still looks like a hurricane came through. I was lucky enough to find some left-over mashed potatoes, rice, and beans next door. I don't know what I would've eaten otherwise. Did I mention that we're like super broke?
I was exhausted today. We went to the mall and I managed to find some decent maternity pants in the juniors section at Dillard's! Yikes, indeed.
I'm still mustering up the energy to find some new bras. My boobs will probably get even bigger so it seems like a waste, really.
Today I'm feeling pretty good. I peed like four times in a span of approximately 45 minutes last night. Today is also the first day in about five days that I don't feel nauseous like constantly. I bought a book called The Babycenter guide to Pregnancy and Birth. I liked it most out of the semi-limited collection of books about pregnancy at Book People. The baby's due date may be either February 20 or March 27 depending on whether my June "period" was real or not. So I may be either about six or nine weeks pregnant. We'll find out on Thursday after my first sonogram.
Did I mention my breasts hurt a LOT and that they've already gotten too bog for my bras? Yep...
There are only a few things I'm absolutely certain about at this point:
1. I don't want anyone but Michael present while I'm in labor.
2. I'm definitely breast-feeding.
3. I don't want an episiotomy.
4. I want my bay with me or Michael at all times-I don't want her hanging out with other babies in the nursery.
I'm currently taking Tandem DHA as my pre-natal vitamin. It was given to me as a sample by my doctor and it's just fine.
Sprinkle, Sprite, and Spud were killed this morning. I had to gather up their mangled bodies. It's my fault.
I tried, but I can't.
I started work today; Monday through Thursday's pretty good, I think. The hall bathroom's been torn out and I miss my friends. Maybe I just don't want to be at home. I want to be with Michael really badly, but just him. Matt's bringing me down. He's really shallow. He must think our modest little house is a shit-hole. He can fuck himself. We installed window air-conditioners today. I wish we had done it sooner; they're cool...literally. I thought I lost my chickens, but they were next door then I thought I lost them again, but they had come back. I hope Jon can make it to the wedding. Matt should leave. I feel like he's a lost-cause today.
I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with the people around me. One person in particular is making me feel quite uncomfortable. As our wedding approaches, I feel more and more sure about Michael and our life together. There is absolutely no doubt as to whether or not he will be a good, faithful husband and father. It brings me endless comfort to know that we are absolutely in love. I really wish our house were cleaner. I saw an ugly baby today. I soaked in a "family swim center" with Michael for a few hours in my underwear and got a tan. I hyperventilated while trying to inflate the family swim center; my lips were uncontrollably pursed. I start my summer job tomorrow; I only look forward to the pay check that will inevitably be spent on debt and home-renovations. We've bought the tile for the showers and Mr. Cortina will start tomorrow on tearing out the fiberglass showers currently installed. I'm wondering if anyone will read this and why. I need to send wedding invitations to Michael's family, most of whom I've never even heard him speak of. I hope people actually buy stuff from the registry so we don't have spend any more money. I need to give invitations to Mom's co-workers; they're nice.
on 6/1/08